why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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