Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize