I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
