The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
