Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
