my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
