you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
