My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I pour the whiskey from now on
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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