Too much gin, very little bucket
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
