lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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