Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
