barbara walters just said penis...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
