dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
