So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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