I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
