the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
