so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
