The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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