if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
