why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
