I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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