Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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