Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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