Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
