One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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