I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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