I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
