If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
