my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
