I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
