we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
