your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
