did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
