I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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