Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
