So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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