I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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