I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And then my night got REAL pukey
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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