I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize