Taylor Swift is so right about you.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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