There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Randomize
