Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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