I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
