Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
