Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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