The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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