I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
