When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
