dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
