Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
