Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
please come you make the beer taste better
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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