I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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