We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize