i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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