Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
