Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
