Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them

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(502): View more from Kentucky

im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.

(773): View more from Illinois

Stop texting me, I'm right here.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

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(214): View more from Texas

Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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(650): View more from California

I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.

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(817): View more from Texas

90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND

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