I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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