the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
