We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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