How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
