I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
