see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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