remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
