well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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